April 6, 2014 18:18 by Jaime

On Thursday from work, I saw Kharma go into labor through my IP camera.  I am lucky enough to work at a place that allowed me to be in the car and speeding toward my barn in 4 minutes.

But that wasn't fast enough.  Klaire was born and I could see she wasn't moving on my smart phone.  Jodie was watching on a bigger screen and confirmed it.  I called my neighbor/angel next door, Sandy, and she beat me to the barn and began trying to resuscitate Klaire.  She had a heart beat but wasn't breathing.  When I arrived, Sandy continued to blow into the filly's nostrils with her mouth while I rubbed, smacked and pleaded with the filly to breathe.

Finally, a gulp and then a breath that expelled the nastiness in her lungs.  She started to breathe.

But that was only the beginning.

Klaire was already sick.  She was born with the little pink rings around her coronaries indicative of sepsis.  There was no placentitis (we later confirmed) but somehow, Klaire had become sick in utero, and then had that illness compounded by hypoxia.  Of course we found out this stuff later.  At the time, I rushed her to the vet school where they performed life saving measures on her and began doing diagnostics to help assess the situation.

The situation was very grim from the beginning.  The team of doctors working on her could not say for sure what the root problem was.  She had a unique set of symptoms that didn't match any particular diagnosis.  Some of the chemistries were "baffling" to doctors.  She was given a grim prognosis for overnight, but we decided to give her the night and see what happened.  If "House" from the TV drama had suddenly appeared, I would have kissed the ground he walked on.  It seemed as if we were in one of his shows.

The next day she looked so good.  She stood up on her own, walked around, and even spent some time with her mother in a regular stall inside of her padded NICU unit.  I went from resigned to losing her to believing she'd be just fine.

That night she got worse again.  The next morning she was some better.  I visited after lunch and the doctors were optimistic about a drug change they were making, but I left the visit extremely sad as her condition was the worst I'd seen it yet, with the exception of before Sandy and I got her breathing.  Klaire died less than 4 hours after I left.

Klaire, one day old
Klaire, one day old

There's so much emotion wrapped up into a situation like this...an overwhelming sense of guilt is up there among the top, but also pride in my little fighter and her mama, dispair, anger over the waste, and also just plain being overwhelmed at the sheer amount of support and love we received in texts, Facebook, and personal visits. 

Thank you to the personal visits from my friend Kelly, who sat with me and Klaire for two days during the hours we were allowed to visit.  Nobody told Kelly to come, she just did.

Thank you to Sandy for dropping everything she was doing and racing over to my house to try to save Klaire all alone.

Thank you to Jodie who watched the camera every minute and listened to me cry after Klaire died.

Thank you to Dr. Michelle who helped give Klaire her first precious drops of colostrum and called NCSU CVM and got us in the door.

Thank you to the entire Equine Medicine team and Neonatal Unit at NCSU CVM for everything they did to try and save Klaire.

Thank you to Karie who spent lots of extra time with Klaire.

Thank you to every single person on Facebook, friends and family, who loved Klaire and supported us.  I felt like I was all alone but all I had to do was check my phone to know that wasn't true.

And thanks to Jason, who lost the most and received nothing in return, not even the joy of knowing her for one minute or laying eyes on her perfect little body.

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